Differences in sexual anatomy and response of males and females


Sex is a sacred experience. It is one of those topics that is talked about poorly or nobody talks about it at all. Women generally take a long time to get aroused than men. Because males have a propensity to be focused on one thing at a time, they get aroused and reach a climax quickly. Women tend to worry about their surroundings and other things at the same time when having sexual intimacy. That’s why they might take a longer time to focus and be fixated on that. These differences can cause problems in relationships. When women are feeling safe, warm, and close it is very easy for them to be sexually connected. For men it is the other way round the reason they want to have sex is so they can feel safe, warm, and close to their spouses.

Especially with reaching a climax, there are big bursts of dopamine, adrenalin, serotonin, and oxytocin (feeling of bonding or attachment). Women have that oxytocin and men do not. Because of that women might feel more attached and men might walk away. That is why we have this saying of a “one night stand”, or a “hit and run”. Research says women who have multiple partners tend to get less attached as they move from one partner to another.

 Males’ sexual anatomy is exterior, whereas for females it is interior. As a result, women don’t grow up dealing with their sexual anatomy. With penis-vagina sex, men are more likely to be done before women are because those arousal things in a woman might be untouched during that.

People tend to think of being very good in sex being predetermined and forget that there needs to be practice and communication in doing that for it to be good.  Experience with pornography makes the other partner have false expectations, even having had previous experience with other people causes a disadvantage instead of the other way round. Doing that creates a huge challenge because you get high expectancy when you have sex. This may lead to dissatisfaction. There is also a challenge of communication, you tend to find out that a new couple speaks less when having sex but, for their sex to blossom and be great they need to communicate. They need to communicate even before, they can talk about frequency, what does sex means to each one of them. These talks help eradicate false expectations and you get the feel of what to expect. The things we also watch on tv create tons and tons of expectations. We want to copy what we have seen or heard and when that does not happen, we feel frustrated. Women because men want sex all the time, tend to say he wants me for my body, not me. Men may feel their partner is disinterested when they do not want sex.

After 2-3 days men have some sexual tension that needs to be released. For women in 28 days where she is most likely to get pregnant in her cycle, she will then more likely to be more sexually tensed. There is a saying that I have found useful even in my marriage. It says, “Sex starts in the kitchen and not in bed”. Some advice to men, if you want your wife to enjoy having sex with you be romantic and kind and loving to her not only in bed but also during the day, it makes a lot of difference. If you do that, they feel loved and cared for and hence are more aroused when it is time to have sex.  We see the fact that the world is pushing for women to get sexually aroused quicker and have more sexual partners. Now women feel so much pressure. The truth is the world has differing opinions but that does not mean we should follow or believe everything that the world says just because we are living in it.

There are some benefits of having different sexual anatomy. God made it so that we become selfless and that is what marriage is about. We become gentler and kinder. There is a difference between sexual intercourse and sex. Sexual intercourse is penis-vagina sex and sex is much more than that. Let us all seek to understand that and seek to have sex when we are lawfully married as husband and wife. Let us remember also that we have to practice being sexually intimate for it to be good just as in everything we do.

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